♥ Hello My Love

Hello There My Love...
It seems like every time I promise to get better at updating
it only gets worse. So from now on I will not make that promise.

Many things are new but many things are the same still as well.
I'm still fighting hard with school, it's a lot right now. Exams and such.
But it's going really well in all 3 classes that I'm taking this year :)

I have a new computer that is like 100 times better then my old one.
I can even play The Sims 3 all I want now. My old computer couldn't
even manage to let me play the first The Sims. That's how bad it was.
So yes, I am extremely happy over the new computer.

I've started using Tumblr and I use it a lot. Updates pretty much every
single day and it is a lot of updates when I have the time for it haha.
Maybe a bit to much now and then...But hey, I am addicted to it !!
So if you have one please add me, I promise daily updates (almost).

My health isn't the best right now. Something is up with my heart and
I am in the middle of doctors checking it out and taking lots of tests.
It's beating really weird all the time and has for a few months now.
The result is me being very exhausted all the time but I keep fighting.
I can't drink to much coffee and not eat to much liquorish...Things like that.
Liquorish makes your heart beat faster.

I'm sure there's lots I haven't written here but it's been some time since
I updated so yeah...I am not going to promise to get better because that
will not work, it will make it worse haha.

I'm Still Breathing :)

I am not dead. I've just been busy with school and been ill as well.
But I have gone to school for the 2 weeks I've been ill, still am.
If you look away from Thursday and Friday when my fever was to high.

School is going well. At least I think it is. Feels like it is...
It is going much better then I thought it would. I'm still shocked.
Still trying to get used to the fact that I don't have so much time
for photography, craft and such anymore. I used to have loads of time.

I've been having a Freddy Krueger moment in my life for some time now.
Still have a little to be honest. I love A Nightmare on Elm Street, all movies.

I'm more active on Dailybooth again. Since I don't have much time for "bigger".
Sorry that I seem to be dead on Flickr, deviantART and other sites.

No Motivation At All...

As you can see the new layout is finally up :)
I've had so much studying this week on top of being ill (still)
that I haven't had the time to finish the layout until today.

I have no motivation what so ever to study today.
I don't know if it's the rain pouring down outside or if it's
because I'm been ill for over a week but still gone to school.
I just want to sit wrapped in a huge blanket drinking something arm
while I watch the Nightmare on Elm Street movies. Freddy Krueger FTW !!

El laberinto del fauno

[Music: Javier Navarrete - Long, Long Time Ago (Hace much, much tiempo)]
[Mood: Tired]

School is going very well. This week has been very calm but I've been ill
at the same time as I've been to school, not that anyone has noticed haha.
But it's not because people in school ignores me, I just feel a lot better
when I am there. It's strange really, I used to hate school with all I had.

I watched Pan's Labyrinth tonight, I love that movie so much. A favorite.
One thing I love around it is how about 50 % think all of it is happening
while the other 50 % thinks it's all in Ofelia's little mind, adore her.
What side do you think I am on?
The music in the movie is so amazing I could die from it, I mean...wow.
I would love to hear more work by that composer, Javier Navarrete.

If you have not seen the movie yet, believe me when I say that you must.
Don't let movies in a different language stop you from discovering new things !!
Pan's Labyrinth is in Spanish. The movies "real" name is El laberinto del fauno.

Well I am off to bed. I promise I'll get better on updating :)
Working on a new layout for the blog again as well. Will be similar to my Swedish one.

School Week One, done.

[Music: Typing on the keyboard]
[Mood: Exhausted]

[Me at the library yesterday, doing my homework.]

The first week of school is over. It's honestly been a very good week.
I've had a lot of fun being back in school. Does that make me insane?
I've even had my first homework. My first test. Got a new first friend.
My god, I even argued for the first time with a teacher yesterday haha.

This week I've felt more alive then I have in a very long time.
Feels like I'm finally doing something with my life and that it's finally
the right time to do something with it. That I'm strong enough now.

So much new information and stuff to melt inside my head, it's spinning.
But it feels so amazing, I don't know how to start in order to explain it.
It's just...wonderful. Don't get me wrong, I am dead tired right now haha.
But still, it is so wonderful !!

Pacing while Fading

[Music: The Man Who Cried OST]
[Mood: Annoyed]

Today was the first day for me in school.
It's the first time in like 5 years that I'm going to study.
The important things with teachers and information went wonderful.
The part where to socialize with the other students...not so much.
Took them like 10 min to "choose" me as the freakish girl...sucks.
I tried talking with a few but they just looked at me like I'm a alien.
Excuse me for wearing colorful clothes & have a bow in my hair? Or what...

But that's the not most important part for me right now. Studying is.
Thank god I had therapy after because I honestly had a small breakdown.

Tomorrow the classes starts and I am looking forward to it.
And who knows, maybe I'll find a friend or two later on...

Water Play.

[Music: James Marsters - Bad]
[Mood: Happy]

Yesterday at the zoo the tigers, especially this years cubs, where playful.
Kolmårdens Zoo work a lot with saving animals fighting for their place on
this planet and they are doing well. One of the projects is the Siberian Tiger.
I love watching them play. The cubs this year is doing very well :)
I sometimes watch them through the web cams they have set up there,
they are deadly adorable while playing in the snow !!

Today is my turn to play in the water as well. I'm going to the beach.
I'm going with my sister and Peter. I have packed a bunch of magazines.
I'm sure I'll have a nice and relaxing day.

Alice in Wonderland [2010]

[Music: Scissor Sister - Laura]
[Mood: Excited]

These kind of things makes my all warm and fuzzy inside.
It makes my depression go *poof* as well for a short while.
Tim Burton is my number one favorite in the movie making world.
He is so amazing, all of his movies are just...perfect !! It's a good word for it.
Alice in Wonderland, wonderful story and very loved by me and many.
Tim Burton's version will without a doubt be so perfect I could die.
The cast is perfect. Danny Elfman will do the music, that is perfect too.

Time has to move faster to the time for this wonderfulness will be here.

So, who can see me sitting in a
cute dress with a bow in my hair?

& The Blood Goes Drip Drop...

[Music: Cat Power - Werewolf]
[Mood: Depressed]

The last few days have been...hard I guess you could say.
My depression has been reminding me well that it's here.
The best word to describe how I've felt is the word dead.
I hate that feeling. And I hate not being in control over it.

I'm still very down. I still just want to cry and hide under the cover.
But I've decided to do something today. To get out at least.
So I'm going to the thrift store later, when it has opened.

I'm starting to become afraid to be honest.
Almost nothing makes me happy anymore.
I am dead inside.

I do not want your pity. I just needed to write to calm down.
To get it out of my system so to speak.
I'll be as normal soon, I hope.

Let me...

[Music: Regina Spektor - The Sword & The Pen]
[Mood: Dreamy]

Play this while reading...



I wish I could dance with fairies all day long,
to feel happy and magical while we dance along.
I want to see the world, live in a new country once time a week.
I want to feel happiness in a new language that I seek.

Give me wings so I can fly high up in the sky, among all the clouds.
Give me strength so I can earn the money I need to travel all around.
I want to shop in Paris, live in England, go to Disney Land and meet my prince.
I want to dive in Australia and hike in New Zeeland. Travel around Scotland
and see all the castles. Visit Beyond Retro in London. Visit everything I want.

And when all of that is done and even more besides that...
Let me show you my world and life as I've seen it through my eyes.
Let me fill you with my adventures to spark up your dreams.
To give you fairytales and make you feel all magical inside.

A new start on the way.

Hello dearies !!
I know I have seemed to be dead, but I am not.
I haven't had the inspiration to write in this blog lately to be honest.
But I feel like returning now. To make a new start since all of my friends
do not know Swedish, most of them don't actually.

A new layout will soon be up along with new categories.
I just have to see Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince a 3rd time first.
And along with all of that I will start posting tutorials on random things.
Such as; Photography (along with editing), Photoshop, Craft and more.

I will not put the previous post in the new categories, it is to much work.
I might to in on a boring rainy day later on. We just have to wait and see.

I got into the school I applied to, starting August 17th.
I am very happy about it, looking forward to it as well!

Well, I'll see you when we have a new start lovelies :)

♥ Makes My Inside Purr ♥

Bows. On Clothes, in my hair, draw them, make them, buy them.
On Jewelery, in graphics, the word...But you probably knew that one.

Thrifting. I had this hobby when I was much younger but I lost
it on the way some how. It's back and I didn't realize until now just
how much I've missed it, it was a lot.
Finding something precious to you for almost no money.
That is happiness my friends, so much happiness.

Movienights. Night when you just eat snacks & candy.
Drink coca-cola or something other yummy while watching a movie
that makes your heart go boom boom. It's lovely according to me.

Craft. Make a jewelery, sew something (I've learned!! :D), make a
card for someone special on their special day. Re-make something ugly
into something pretty and cute.
Buy new supplies and decorations is lovely as well, don't you think? ^^

Tradera. A Swedish auction site where I make many business. I love
the thrill to make bids and even more to win something I really really want.
To sell what I do not want to someone who really wants it, and make some money.

Blogs. To find a blog where it's love at first sight is something special.
A great start for a good day is a cup of coffee while reading the blogs you follow.
It's also a great way to end your day before going to sleep. I love finding new blogs.

Pretty Bows & Silent Notes.

I know I haven't been around when it comes to the blog, I do have a reason.
I don't want my english blog to be about my depression and things around it.
And then there's the Spring. The lovely Spring that I've longed for is here !!
The weather is amazing and it's warm outside. I have to take long walks now,
I have to lay down in the grass while dreaming away to Neverland or Narnia.
So that's another reason it has been silent in the blog...But it is what it is.

I've quit smoking. Which is shocking both to me and those around me.
I've smoked for about 10 years and a few days ago I just got tired of it.
I threw my cigarettes in the toilet and flushed it, haven't bought any new
ones either. I have on the other hand taken like two from my dad at night.
But that's two cigarettes in 4 days !! I'm used to 20 cigarettes / day...
So yes, I am proud of myself and hoping it will continue on going this well.
I'm already noticing how much money I'll save thanks to this.

At the moment I'm having my first cup of coffee for today while planning
on how to get money until tomorrow. I'm craving to go treasure hunting.
With other words, go to Second Hand stores all day long until I'm going to
my sisters place. We're having movie night tomorrow, probably spending
the night as well. It will be loads of fun. Oh well, I'll see what happens with
the money finding thing hehe. Hope you're having great weather, like me !!

Sleepy Hollow Blend.

I still got it =^.^=

The last 1-2 weeks I've been listening to the Sleepy Hollow soundtrack a lot.
I adore Danny Elfman, I adore Tim Burton and Sleepy Hollow is one of my
favorite movies through time, I love it so much. So I made a blend today.
I am so pleased with it and it is the first time that happens for a very long time,
since my inspiration when it comes to Photoshop is pretty much stuck.

But I still got it and it does mean the world to me to be honest.
Hopefully I can manage to break some inspiration free again soon.

Style. Allergies. Sisters.

What I wore, Friday April 10th.

Leather Jacket. Comic Hoodie. Wolverine T-shirt.
Green Shorts. 2-colored tights. Waist-Belt. Pretty Shoes.
Themes; The Joker, X-men & Batman.

My style is very random. I can go from goth to innocent girl in 24 hours.
Probably because I don't have a so called style. I wear what I want, when I want.
Last Friday I wanted something comfortable but comic-related...It became random.
The Joker on half the body, Wolverine on the middle and the head became Batman.
Most people don't see it until I tell them what the days theme is, some do know...

It's Easter and most people would probably write what they've done to celebrate.
But since my family doesn't do that not much has happened for me this Easter.
My mother has bad memories from when she was a child during Easter so we
never celebrated it while growing up (me & my sister). But I don't mind really.
I didn't like candy as a child so I preferred getting earrings like we did instead.

My allergies has started to make it self known. I hate it so much, it's frustrating !!
I've never had problems in my whole life but last year I got the allergies-hit haha.
And this year it's starting earlier and worse than last year...The things that makes
the whole thing worse is that I don't have my medicine for it yet...
I can get it on Tuesday. I need them now because I am not in shape what so ever.

My sister called me earlier today, asking if I wanted to do something with her and
her boyfriend later today. We decided to buy lots of candy and watch a bunch of movies.
I want to so much (I also said yes) but right now my body is screaming at me.
It's screaming because it's exhausted already from the allergies, I suppose it's that.
We'll see what happens. I have about 2 hours to feel if I can manage the whole thing.

Blood Bath.

Yesterday while I was waiting for my bath to get ready I took some new self-portraits. I used my fake blood that I have as you can see.
It became a blood bath because working with fake blood is as very messy business.
Probably the reason why most people choose to have no clothes on while doing that.
If the clothes get stained by the fake blood it's almost impossible to get rid of.
I got a few good ones, one of them is the one above but someone once told me that during a photo shoot a photographer is happy to get 1 out of 200 pictures that's good so yeah.

I've mostly watched old Bleach episodes today, my favorite anime show.

I looooove it !!

When I haven't done that I've spent time with Stampe, he demanded attention like always. But it's my doing since I've spoiled him a lot.
Tomorrow my friend Elenor is coming over and staying the night.
Haven't seen her for ages so I'm looking forward to it.

I've also searched through Flickr (big surprise) after people who seem to know swaps. So I've actually sent a few of them mails over there where I ask how the whole thing works. Hopefully I'll get a reply from at least one, because as you know I really want to start too.

Clair de Lune

More on Flickr

My psychologist called today and canceled our meeting on Wednesday, not happy about it.
I said "Oh, that's fine !! It's okay." and got a new time on Monday 11 am instead.
I wanted to say "I needed you Thursday already, don't you dare !!" ...
But you don't always get what you want in life, I know that first hand, so I just sighed.

I put together the little piece above before dinner was ready.
I love Clair de Lune, that song is so beautiful that it sometimes brings tears to my eyes.
I could not help myself after I found those gorgeous music brushes before hehe.
Thinking of doing more in the same theme, we'll see what happens.

Sea of Love.

Me & Athena.

A true cuddle monster.

Sitting drinking my tea in my room right now with a very playful bunny in here.
Stampe is out and about, having his race between the kitchen and my room.
I don't get how something with so short legs can run so surprisingly fast 0.0

I might as well say right away that the little monkey on the picture above
is not a pet of mine. It's taken at a zoo I visit now and then, mostly to photograph.
That year this little monkey fell for me and she still comes to say hello as an adult.
I named her Athena instead of calling her Little Monkey when she comes.

I want to start with swaps online from all over the world. But I don't know how...
And I'm a bit lame because I'm a bit scared to start doing it haha. What if I get tricked.
We'll see what happens with that, maybe I'll ask one of my friends from online to start with.